A reminder that our current President does not stand (nor take a stand) firmly rooted in esteemable morals and good judgment (and let’s be real, that’s putting it extremely mildly).
A reminder that even our family, friend, and acquaintance groups may be divided in themselves about how (if at all) to respond or react to this.
These past few weeks have been a reminder of so much personal and collective pain, a reminder of so many deeply entrenched, destructive systemic issues that seem to have no solution.
Oh, and of course, we’re dealing with all of this against the backdrop of a global pandemic, the likes of which most living has never known.
I had a blog post scheduled to go out this week all about boundaries and the downside to being a high-functioning overachiever.
That post is on pause and, depending on events and the coming weeks, I may even delay the launch of my course.
I don’t want to draw attention away from the most important issues right now: racial injustice, white supremacy, and the horror of what it means to be a POC in this country.
And honestly, my voice is not the most educated, relevant, or important voice to talk about this, even in my own blog post.
I’m a privileged White woman.
This is not my time to speak up, it’s my time to listen, to learn, and to amplify and elevate other more marginalized voices who have powerful and important things to say.
White apathy is lethal and what’s also true is that we can use our voices and rage in ways that might unintentionally harm and silence others when we’re doing so.
But White silence is violence, too, and so I’m speaking up, but hopefully in a way that elevates and supports. I may get it wrong, but I’m willing to try.
So to that end, what I want to do in this post is to share a curated list of activists, thought leaders, and resources (organized by topic category) if you, like me, are hungry to learn more and do more to play a part in the undoing of White supremacy and brutal racism that is woven into the fabric of this country.
And for anyone who questions why a therapist might share such a “non-neutral” “non-clinical” blog post, know that social justice issues are INEXTRICABLY linked to mental health because therapy clients do not live in a vacuum.
They are shaped and formed by society, culture, and context. Social justice issues ARE clinical issues, full stop.
Please, don’t stay silent, be willing to be uncomfortable, and weave the undoing of White supremacy into your personal growth work as much as you might any other mental health issue.
Self-Care Support If You’re A Person Of Color:
- 4 Self-Care Tips for People of Color After Charlottesville (from Teen Vogue in 2017 but yes, it’s still relevant).
- Radical Self-Care.
- 5 Self-Care Practices Black People Can Use While Coping With Trauma.
- How racism impacts our mental health: a podcast episode by Dr. Joy Harden Bradford of Therapy for Black Girls.
Strong POC voices to follow and learn/unlearn from now:
Additional multimedia resources if you want to learn about White privilege, White Supremacy, Racism, and what you can do to help:
- The Charleston Syllabus – compiled by Chad Williams, Keisha N. Blain, Melissa Morrone, Ryan P. Randall, Cecily Walker, this is a truly phenomenal and comprehensive list of multimedia resources.
- Addressing Race And Racism With Young Children – A terrific list compiled by Lovery, the children’s toy and education company I fervently love.
- “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack” by Peggy McIntosh, Ph.D. An article I read in grad school which began my journey into understanding White privilege.
- White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo: I just downloaded this to Kindle since they’re sold out of hard copies.
- Me and White Supremacy by Layla Saad: Again, sold out of hardcopy but I downloaded the Kindle version.
And friends, I want to learn from you: what other resources would you add to this list? What other strong and important POC voices and activists would you recommend that I/we follow?
In times like these, it’s important that we take care of ourselves, and that we take care of each other in whatever ways seem possible for each of us.
We are living in extraordinarily challenging times plainly seeing and feeling painful, social systemic wounds that, perhaps, many of us with privilege haven’t had to confront or live with so acutely yet.
Please understand: I don’t have the answers.
Instead, I join you in the question of how to best help in the small ways I can, including continuing to own and understand my own White privilege, elevating voices that are relevant and important, and taking personal action to eradicate racial injustice and raise an anti-racist White daughter, and to do this as I labor in my daily life and tend to my corner of the world in Berkeley, California.
This post is less an article than it is a letter from me to you, wanting you to know that I’m in it with you, that I’m thinking of you, that I have a couple of resources that might feel helpful for you.
But most of all to let you know that we’re all in this together. I’ll keep trying to do what I can to be of support to you as these weeks, months, and years unfold.
And so, I wonder, how are you doing? How’s your heart been in this past week? What and who has been supporting you in moving through your feelings about the times? Leave me a message in the comments below. I’d love to know how you’re doing in your corner of the world.
If you would personally like support around this and you live in California or Florida, please feel free to reach out to me directly to explore therapy together.
Or if you live outside of these states, please consider enrolling in the waitlist for the Relational Trauma Recovery School – or my signature online course, Hard Families, Good Boundaries, designed to support you in healing your adverse early beginnings and create a beautiful adulthood for yourself, no matter where you started out in life.
And until next time, please take very good care of yourself. You’re so worth it.
PS: And please, if you do not support Black Lives Matter, unsubscribe from my articles. Thanks.
I so appreciate your willingness to speak up and speak out about the on-going racial injustice in our country. It’s abhorrent to me that this occurs. Unlike you, so many stay silent. We can never effect positive change unless all of us do as you have done: SPEAK UP, SPEAK OUT, DEMONSTRATE PEACEFULLY, so we can work towards finally being heard that RACIAL INJUSTICE IS WRONG, NOT ACCEPTABLE, AND HURTS, WOUNDS AND KILLS SO MANY INNOCENT PEOPLE. IT IS WAY PAST THE TIME TO CHANGE THIS!
Mental Health Therapist on
Thanks for sharing such an amazing and informative blog. As a therapist, this is very informational for me because it helps me in getting new things and is good for enhancing my skills and I believe that racial injustice is also a mental health issue. Keep up sharing such kind of great blog.
Thank you for taking the time to comment and for your kind words! I’m so pleased you are finding my blog helpful. Have a wonderful week.