Whether you’re reeling from the strain of world events, struggling with juggling work and the tough daily demands of adulting, or maybe even having a hard time managing your chronic mental or physical health challenges, there are times in life that can simply feel really hard, really draining and where it’s almost impossible to imagine that things will ever get better again.
And in these time, often we just need someone to tell us it’s going to be okay or to bring some perspective to what it is we’re facing.
This blog post is meant to be exactly that for you.
Look, I don’t have a crystal ball, I don’t know what’s going on for you personally or what your future will hold.
But I do know that even when things are hard and feel impossible, they can coexist with things that are going well, things that are good in your life and good in the world. It’s not either/or, it’s both/and.
This list is meant to be the both/and to what it is you’re facing right now.
Take what you need from this list and leave the rest — some things may feel helpful, some maybe won’t; some will apply to you life, some might not; read through, internalize the ones that resonate with you, and then tell it to yourself over and over again when you need to hear it. It’s a veritable smorgasbord of reassurance.
And please, pass this one on to those who may also need to hear some reasons why it will be okay. Because really, who among us doesn’t need a reminder from time to time?
101 Reasons Why It Will All Be Okay.
1. You are alive. You’ve got another day to create change if you want to.
2. You’ve got ground beneath your feet and air in your lungs. You’ve got the basics down.
4. “She could never go back and make some of the details pretty. All she could do was move forward and make the whole beautiful.” ― Terri St. Cloud
5. You know where your next meal is coming from. And if you don’t, there are so many incredible resources out there to help you out if you’re experiencing food insecurity.
6. You can READ. You’re reading this list, right? Or maybe someone is reading it to you. Either way, words are powerful and by soaking them up you have the ability to learn, to grow, and to create change in your world if that’s something you’re wanting/needing.
8. You guys. The internet. You have access to the best darn thing! You can connect with people with similar stories, get help, and watch hilarious puppy videos. Thank goodness for the internet!
9. “Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?” – Anne of Green Gables
10. There are teachers and healers out there showing up every day, doing really hard things helping young minds and hurting hearts to grow and to heal. These people are doing good work in the world and they’re all. around. us.
12. “The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of those depths.” ― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
13. You have a bed to sleep in tonight. And if you don’t, please consider this list of resources to help you out.
15. Chocolate, you guys. Chocolate.
16. You are loved. You are worthy.
18. There is a thing that exists called “binge watching.” And there is this little thing called Netflix.
19. There are people who volunteer to hold and soothe premature and drug-addicted newborn babies. Thank goodness for these kind angels.
20. “And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” ― Haruki Murakami
22. Breathe. Feel your feet on the ground. The breath on your lips. You are safe, you are okay.
23. Because hot showers, hot baths, hot springs, hot tubs, and hot water in general.
24. If you’re feeling angry and hurt because you’ve been betrayed and/or your boundaries have been crossed, know that you’re having an appropriate response to that situation. Anger is a sign that we have a need that’s not being met or a boundary that’s being crossed. Your feelings are actually trying to tell you something. If you need additional support in creating and enforcing boundaries, I created my course, “Hard Families, Good Boundaries” just for you.
25. “God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference.” – Dr. Reinhold Niebuhr, adopted by AA
27. Because, cake with frosting.
28. “Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.” ― Steve Maraboli
29. We’re living in a day and age where feminism, gender fluidity, racial equality, LGBTQI rights, and overall social progress is becoming more and more normative. Thank GOD.
30. If you need to take a break from those who are triggering you, that’s ok. Take care of yourself.
32. “Though fairy tales end after ten pages, our lives do not. We are multi-volume sets. In our lives, even though one episode amounts to a crash and burn, there is always another episode awaiting us and then another. There are always more opportunities to get it right, to fashion our lives in the ways we deserve to have them. Don’t waste your time hating a failure. Failure is a greater teacher than success.” ― Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Ph.D.
33. There are phone lines and internet meetings of support which you can access without ever leaving your home. Consider calling or joining one if you need to feel some contact and connection. It may not feel ideal or totally satiating to you, but it could be a start.
34. REPEAT TO YOURSELF: IT WILL ALL BE OKAY.
35. “Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.” – Helen Keller
37. There is such a thing as fresh starts, clean slates, and second chances. THANK GOODNESS.
38. “This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert
40. Because, the feeling of coziness and safety you feel in your bed. Bliss!
41. If you’re grieving and saddened by the loss of someone right now, how beautiful is it that you loved someone enough to miss them? You really showed up for life and for love, didn’t you?
42. Your feelings are valid. You get to feel ALL of your feelings. They are not good nor bad — they are clues for you. What are your feelings telling you?
44. “Grief is love’s souvenir. It’s our proof that we once loved. Grief is the receipt we wave in the air that says to the world: Look! Love was once mine. I love well. Here is my proof that I paid the price.” ― Glennon Doyle
45. Because there are families out there raising and championing strong, smart, confident, headstrong little girls.
47. Because there are families out there raising and championing kind, compassionate, loving, respectful little boys.
50. Because there are families out there who are consciously allowing and deliberately supporting their child’s own natural gender and sexual identity to emerge of their own accord. How incredibly beautiful and powerful is that?
51. Because body positivity is a thing and there is a mounting wave of powerhouse advocates for this movement.
53. “People are like stained – glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.” ― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, M.D.
55. “One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it.” ― Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Ph.D.
56. Because, if the average person lives 27,375 days and this one happens to be a particularly bad one for you, remember not all of the other days lived so far felt this bad and remember that not all of your remaining days will likely feel this bad. It’s just one of many days in your life, even if it sucks right now.
57. “Discovering the truth about ourselves is a lifetime’s work, but it’s worth the effort.” ― Fred Rogers
59. “I’m here. I love you. I don’t care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you. If you need the medication again, go ahead and take it—I will love you through that, as well. If you don’t need the medication, I will love you, too. There’s nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression and I am braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert
60. If you’re feeling scared and fearful because you’re experiencing or anticipating a loss and it’s bringing up your childhood fears around scarcity, grief, and loneliness, look around you and find reasons why you’re actually more secure than you feel. Just because past feelings are present does not mean the situation is real.
61. “Someday you’re gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You’ll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing…” ― Elizabeth Gilbert
63. Because, the smell of fresh baked bread.
65. Because no feeling lasts forever. Even if it feels like it might always feel this way, it won’t. It’s impossible for it to because change is inevitable for all of us.
66. When it feels like you’re the last of your college girlfriends to get engaged/get married/have a baby/buy a house and you feel sad and very alone, just remember… Adulting’s not easy. And humaning can be hard.
67. “Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else.” ― Fred Rogers
68. I mean, because of things like this video.
69. Because the world is filled with talented ASMR artists who are creating content to help soothe and support you.
71. Because even while it feels like the world (or your world) is ending, if you look around and notice the ground safely underneath your feet, the walls holding up the ceiling, your lungs breathing in and out, you have proof that it isn’t. Proof that you are safe.
72. “We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” ― Joseph Campbell
74. “It’s good to do uncomfortable things. It’s weight training for life.” ― Anne Lamott
75. You have (at least) one person in your life you could likely turn to if you needed to. A friend. A parent. Your therapist. Your neighbor. Your doctor.
76. “We cannot selectively numb emotions, when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.” ― Brené Brown
78. “I think one of the keys to happiness is accepting that I am never going to be perfectly happy. Life is uncomfortable. So I might as well get busy loving the people around me. I’m going to stop trying so hard to decide whether they are the “right people” for me and just take deep breaths and love my neighbors. I’m going to take care of my friends. I’m going to find peace in the ’burbs. I’m going to quit chasing happiness long enough to notice it smiling right at me.” ― Glennon Doyle
79. Because of the sweet, milky smell of little babies…
81. Right now, somewhere in the world, spiritual leaders are praying for you, meditating for you, crafting their work in the world for you.
82. “It’s funny: I always imagined when I was a kid that adults had some kind of inner toolbox full of shiny tools: the saw of discernment, the hammer of wisdom, the sandpaper of patience. But then when I grew up I found that life handed you these rusty bent old tools – friendships, prayer, conscience, honesty – and said ‘do the best you can with these, they will have to do’. And mostly, against all odds, they do.” ― Anne Lamott
83. Because, ice cream on a hot summer day.
85. Because of everyday warriors like Senator Elizabeth Warren who are standing up for us and fighting the good fight.
86. “This is an important lesson to remember when you’re having a bad day, a bad month, or a shitty year. Things will change: you won’t feel this way forever. And anyway, sometimes the hardest lessons to learn are the ones your soul needs most. I believe you can’t feel real joy unless you’ve felt heartache. You can’t have a sense of victory unless you know what it means to fail. You can’t know what it’s like to feel holy until you know what it’s like to feel really fucking evil. And you can’t be birthed again until you’ve died.” ― Kelly Cutrone
88. Because, giggling children, crazy cats, and lists of what’s going right in the world.
89. You may not understand what’s happening right now, but I invite you to TRUST THE PROCESS.
91. Because I made you a free, robust digital Care Package of multimedia resources to nourish and support you.
92. You have people in your life who see you, love you, and show up for you in the ways you want them to. They just may not be your family.
94. You deserve to take incredibly good care of your tender, precious self. What’s one thing you can do right now to support yourself?
95. Ask yourself: What can I learn from this moment?
96. “Should you shield the canyons from the windstorms you would never see the true beauty of their carvings.” ― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
97. Remember, the people who trigger us are some of our greatest personal growth teachers.
99. There is always gold in the mud if you’re willing to look for the lessons.
100. Because there are people out there going through probably a remarkably similar experience as you right now and, even if you never meet them, you can know you have a kindred companion in this rocky time who is also wondering and wishing they knew someone like you so they could feel less alone, too.